Top 10 Jokes of the Day

     1.   Protect your identity.

Use a condom!

     2.   I always feel like a loser wanking to porn but throwing the kleenex across the room into a small bin usually evens it out.

     3.   I can't believe it, the cunt is leaving me because I call her inappropriate names.

     4.   There's only one sure fire way to make your penis a few inches bigger.

Push the ruler in to your stomach harder.

     5.   I ordered myself a slow cooker online last week.

It's already three days late.

     6.   Everyones going on about David Schwimmer tying the knot. I don't know what the big deal is, I didn't make a fuss when one of my Friends got married.

     7.   When I told her we were going to have sex, she laughed. Who's crying now...

     8.   I know karate, jujitsu and 5 other japanese words!

     9.    How do you take a census in a scottish town?

Throw a handful of change into the main square.

    10.   What hangs from a tree shouting ''Im an apple,I'm an apple''?

a Psychotic Pear.

Why Minecraft is The Best Game in the World.

Many will remember the thrill and joy that toys used to bring in youth. But there is one specific toy which stands out above the others in its distinct ability to tap into our natural creative nature; lego.
The notion of combinig blocks together in combinations limited only to our imaginative powers and the number of blocks in possession is an enthralling idea that seems to stick with many individuals, making lego a favourite childhood toy.
  It is such a joy in creation that provides the allure in the video game Minecraft, which at its heart provides the means to create without limitation in number of blocks, space or money.

Minecraft, a 'sandbox' game; generates a random environment in which the player can manipulate and shape in their own image. As a result, we have whitnessed the artisty of many in what they have built, pushing the boundaries of the game engine itself. Picture the environment as an empty canvas, and you are the painter.

  Take a look at some of the wonderful creations made using such a simple but brilliant idea that is minecraft

Top 10 Jokes of the day

     1.   I tried pulling this bird I had an eye on with the classic line 'If I controlled the alphabet, I'd put U and I together'.

Unfortunately, she hadn't learnt the alphabet yet.

     2.   They say that everytime you masturbate god kills a kitten

Makes me feel so much better knowing that it was nothing to do with the fact that I'd pinned it down and was using its tail as an aid

     3.   I'm so proud of my daughter, she has finally got her break and got a presenting job on tv. I'm so pleased for her I've been watching since she started.

Just pissed off I have to pay £1.50 a minute to talk to her

     4.   Trying to fart when you've got the shits is very similar to trying to sneeze when you're eating coco pops

     5.   I was poking my asshole today... Thats what happens when you buy cheap supermarket toilet paper.

     6.   "I've got the Snitch!" Said Harry, "I'll hold him down and you can drill through his kneecaps"

     7.   My 12-year-old niece got brutally attacked and raped whilst she was in my care last week.

It's going to be alright though, she's a mute.

     8.   American men don't do irony,

British men don't do ironing...

     9.   I think my new neighbour might be a gay.

The welcome mat reads: "Please wipe your knees."

     10.   I'd kill to be an assassin.

Somebody that I used to know

This an amazing rendition of the Gotye song 'Somebody that I used to know'. A brilliant job, with five people all playing a single guitar. Enjoy.

The Failure of Feminism

  

   It seems in modern society, it has become rather popular for women to berate and demean the notion of masculinity and being male as a way of expressing the empowered woman and their newfound freedom and independence from male oppression . It has created a double standard to the point that if a male were to say “if my woman misbehaves, I just give her a smack”, then that person becomes socially ostracised and refuted…and rightly so! However, if a woman were to say “When my man misbehaves, I just give him a smack”, it is celebrated as a symbol of how far woman have come, the empowered female now able to smack her man without consequences. He deserved it after all.
   

   This double standard permeates into sexual relations between male and female. Picture a man in possession of a sex toy, like a pocket pussy. The current cultural and social values make that man seem pathetic and weak. My contrast, a woman with any kind of sex toy is a symbol of the empowered female.
   

   The mistake Feminism seems to make is the assumption that both male and female sexes are the same; that in order for equality to exist woman must be exactly the same as men. This is simply not the case, for we are physiologically, psychologically and biologically dissimilar and as a species we must accommodate for that.
   

   The entire notion of feminism is a sexist ideology as it focuses on inequality between the sexes…but only for one of the sexes, through which it promotes itself as a rival and contender to their male counterparts. It creates a rift between the sexes which simply should not be. Male and females are partners; two halves of the human species.


  

Here are some feminist quotes that demonstrate just how sexist they can be;
   

• “I feel that ‘man-hating’ is an honourable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them.”  – Robin Morgan, Ms. Magazine Editor

• “To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.”  -– Valerie Solanas

• “I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig.” — Andrea Dworkin

• “Rape is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear” — Susan Brownmiller

• “The more famous and powerful I get the more power I have to hurt men.” — Sharon Stone

• “In a patriarchal society, all heterosexual intercourse is rape because women, as a group, are not strong enough to give meaningful consent.” — Catherine MacKinnon

• “The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race.” — Sally Miller Gearhart

• “Men who are unjustly accused of rape can sometimes gain from the experience.” – Catherine Comins

• “All men are rapists and that’s all they are” — Marilyn French

• “Probably the only place where a man can feel really secure is in a maximum security prison, except for the imminent threat of release.” — Germaine Greer 

 In order for equality to exist, such sexist theories such as feminism and masculism must be replaced with something that accomodates for both sexes on an equal level.

Top 10 Jokes of the day

     1.   TORIES. Don't pressure the ISPs to block porn sites, simply impose a wanking tax.

     2.   did you hear about the afghani library that closed?

someone stole the book.

     3.   What do you call a suicide bomber with downs? Spastic Explosive.

     4.   Somewhere, sitting in his living room, a man named Colin Wanker tearfully realises that his name is an anagram of Neil Warnock.

     5.   Did you know that too much amanoitsurbo can make you dyslexic?

     6.   When I go out clubbing I have to wear wellies, because I'm so knee deep in fit horny young girls.

Unfortunately, they don't talk to me because I'm wearing wellies.

     7.   Giraffes look down on people like you

     8.   Chinese philiosophy just isn't my cup of chi.

     9.   Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my wife cheating.

The lazy bitch has hired a cleaner.

     10.   Britains fattest woman dies.

In other news the record for Britains fattest corpse has just been smashed.      

People are Awesome 2012-2013

This clip demonstrates just how amazing the human species can be, by pushing the very limits of our capabilities to the extreme. Enjoy.