Top 10 Jokes of the Day

     1.   Protect your identity.

Use a condom!

     2.   I always feel like a loser wanking to porn but throwing the kleenex across the room into a small bin usually evens it out.

     3.   I can't believe it, the cunt is leaving me because I call her inappropriate names.

     4.   There's only one sure fire way to make your penis a few inches bigger.

Push the ruler in to your stomach harder.

     5.   I ordered myself a slow cooker online last week.

It's already three days late.

     6.   Everyones going on about David Schwimmer tying the knot. I don't know what the big deal is, I didn't make a fuss when one of my Friends got married.

     7.   When I told her we were going to have sex, she laughed. Who's crying now...

     8.   I know karate, jujitsu and 5 other japanese words!

     9.    How do you take a census in a scottish town?

Throw a handful of change into the main square.

    10.   What hangs from a tree shouting ''Im an apple,I'm an apple''?

a Psychotic Pear.